Magic Mukul

I know I ll be persecuted for writing this but then all those who have been ahead of times have had to bear the brunt of traditionalists. But let me present my case before I am Galilieolized.

Matters of the heart are a constant pain in the ass. It is about time someone invented a theory to deal with them. I am just proposing a theory which could be refined by your precious experiences and contributions.

The basic gist of the theory states that two timing is the secret of eternal happiness. Let us deal on with arguments in support of the theory on a case by case basis:

• BOREDOM STRIKES: Sooner or later the more adventurous of the two gets bored and wants to move on. So instead of causing all the strife of breaking up, he/she could take a lover on the sly. This would keep both the original parties happy. The adventurous one gets some adventure, and the naïve one never gets to know unpleasant facts.

• LOVE TRIANGLE: A likes B, B likes C or A & B both like C or any such variation in a group of n people can be solved by just the central person taking in two lovers. Why should n people sacrifice their happiness over some archaic conventions?

• NOT JUST THAT INTO YOU: When there is an importance mismatch towards each other of the two partners, the one with overflow importance and attention can shower it on a 3 rd person thereby adding to the happiness and mental satisfaction of every person involved in the arrangement.

• PRE-COMMITMENT ISSUES: With this theory all the people already committed need not turn down excellent proposals just because they are committed. It is just a minor irritant as you are allowed another paramour. Why let an excellent opportunity pass by?

• BHAIYA-SAINYA MUDDLE: Basically bhai is a person nice enough to be close to you, but not cool enough to be your boyfriend. And that is because girls find it difficult to imagine him as the one. That problem can be solved as now you could look into two people and benchmarks would automatically get relaxed.

• OVERLOOKED LOVER: H/S started out as a friend, but with time he started creating dreams of his own. He/She is an integral part of your life but not your guy/gal. With this theory in place he/she would get his chance on compassionate grounds.

Although an attempt has been made to list all the possible scenarios which cause strife there may be some more peculiar cases. But it is my sincere belief that this theory would be universal in nature, thereby implying that two-timing is sufficient condition for happiness.

"
The boast of heraldry, the pomp of pow’r,
And all that beauty, all that wealth e’er gave,
Awaits alike th’inevitable hour.
The paths of glory lead but to the grave.
"

"Eventually, all parts of the Hindu Code Bill were passed, piecemeal and in slow stages, and President Prasad gave assent to them all, but not before an extraordinary event in the post-1952 Lok Sabha. Sarojini Naidu’s son and an eloquent first-time Leftist MP, J.Jaisooriya, ended his maiden speech with the words: “Sir, the honourable prime minister had assured us that his government would stand or fall by the Hindu Code. The Hindu Code has fallen but the government, to quote the famous Rampur telegram to Hakim Ajmal Khan, still stands”. There was a huge outburst of hilarity in the House. Nehru was one of the few members bewildered by it. Until Rafi Ahmed Kidwai explained to him that the telegram in question had bewailed the excessive consequences of an aphrodisiac."

• The probabilty that the economic recession is going to benefit environment is statistically equal to raina/rodi or both bagging rakhi sawant at her new swayamvar show which is zero.
• From less Cars today to no cars tomorrow, or maybe bullock carts tomorrow to being asked to walk the day after. These environmentalists want negative growth. Negative Growth is only possible in Benjamin Button. The world cannot age in reverse. You cannot touch up reality even if You have Oscar-winning make up artists.
• It is a sad fact of life that the environment started deteriorating the day adam and eve magically separated. These environmentalists would not rest easy till they find a way to join Adam and eve again by their butts and their world is ringa-ringa-roses again. I would suggest they try fevistik...Best of luck to them...
• While my friend was busy watching cocoons turning into butterfly from his window(sic), people were losing jobs. And when you lose you a job you dont fucking care whether your food is organic or inorganic.
• What would you have us do? Grow our hair long and sing stairway to heaven just because their are polar bears this years than last year. Never mind that people dont have roof over their heads.
• Whatever.

PS: I love Polar bears. They are so funny. Its just that i had to take a name.